Wednesday Updates

Craigslist Bachelor #2 (Nate) finally asked me out, we're meeting tomorrow for coffee. I'm pretty excited about a day date possibility (He is a teacher, so he's also free during the day in the summer).

James emailed me the day after our date with some links that had related to our conversation the night before. So I think I will take that as a sign of interest! He seems slightly shy, and quite gentlemanly. I hope he isn't a gentleman forever and will take steps to make sure we end up kissing on our next date!

Date #2: The Teacher

I also wrote back to another guy who had responded to my craigslist ad. He is tall (6'1") and a school teacher. This may sound strange, but the thing I liked about his response was that he is a really good writer.

We've been writing back and forth for about a week now, but he hasn't asked me on a date yet. On principle I refuse to ask men out. I'm hoping he gets his act together and justs asks, because he sounds pretty interesting. I also have some pretty serious teacher-student fantasies.

Date #1: The Mutual Friend

There were three guys who I thought sounded interesting. The first was 26 and also lived in Brooklyn and worked in my industry. He looked pretty cute in his picture, so I did the logical thing. I looked him up on facebook. And there he was! Maybe... I couldn't really tell if it was the same person. So I perused his profile. Under groups, he was in many that had titles like, "Women belong in the kitchen!"

I can take a joke, but I also think that after college you might want to limit how you present yourself to the world. "Women belong in the kitchen" joke or not is not standing out as someone I see myself dating.

The second guy, James, was cute, and looked kind of familiar. I looked him up on facebook too. I'm pretty sure we don't actually know each other, but we do have a mutual friend- a girl I knew in high school but haven't seen since. Although, she did run into my mother a few weeks ago and asked how I was doing.

I then clicked on her (Ashley) profile, and its seems they are really good friends, because he's posted on her wall in the last few days. Okay, if he is friends with Ashley he can't be that creepy! So I responded to his email.

In his next email he asked me out, and we decided to meet for an ice cream. Ice cream seemed really low pressure to me, and also avoided alcohol. I tend to make poor decisions regarding sex when I'm drinking, and I'm really looking to date someone this time!

Dates tonight. I hope it goes well! (and he doesn't know we have a mutual friend yet...)

Days 5,6 and 7

Mostly more of the same. There was one response that caught my eye, from a guy named Steven. He sounded fun and interesting, but he didn't attach a picture. I'm kind of skeptical about that, but I sent a response asking for one. We'll see what happens with that.

In other, non craigslist related dating, I did get two requests for dates this week. One from a much older guy at work.  He's a friend of mine, we sometimes have lunch together and I hang out in his office listening to music when I'm bored. He called me on Saturday and asked if I'd like to go out sometime. I felt sort of bad turning him down, because I do enjoy his company, but I know that I'm not interested in dating him. It caught me totally off guard,  I was not even sure how he had my phone number. Anyway, I stuttered out an awkward reply about not really wanting to complicate things by dating and then lied and said I had a boyfriend. I said we were on and off again all the time, so I didn't talk about it because other people couldn't keep up with the drama. 

The other request was more promising. I met this very handsome, tall, dark research scientist at a holiday party Saturday night. We ended up flirting for a lot of the night and he asked me for my number at the end of the party. I do hope he calls.

I'm also wishing I had someone around to spank me for lying yesterday. ::sigh::

Day 2- 10 responses

I checked my email again tonight, and had 10 new responses.

The first one is all misspelled and illegible. Pass.

The second one says simply "Get in touch." 

The third one is pictures of a guy and babies. This makes me think he has children. Not what I am looking for.

Fourth one is hoping I am Jewish. I am not.

Fifth one is a classic. From "Old Dad." That's actually the moniker that pops up on my screen. He's 65. Oh my God, I don't even think my grandmother is 65.   His email is actually quite nice though, and he calls me brave for pursuing what I want. Now I feel a little bad for making fun. Okay, but I'm 26 and that's a hell of an age difference. Anyway, at the end he adds this note that says his focus is as a dad and not a daddy. I don't know what this means. All this strange new slang! Can anyone offer any help?

Sixth one wants to let me know that older daddy's spank better,  asks if I'm free during the day, and tells me he doesn't want any commitment. To me, this screams MARRIED.

Seven, eight and nine are all explicit fantasies. I mean, I knew I was going to get these, but its frustrating because its not what I'm looking for. 

Ten is shorter than me. That's one thing I just can't compromise on.

Day 1- 25 responses

I checked my email after work today, and already had 25 responses.

Okay, lets take a look through them.

First response: 30 year old Indian guy, no picture, boring response. NEXT

Second response: 25 year old, cute-ish picture, not my type. I'm picky I guess.

Third Response: 33, 6'2", Andrew (love andrews, for some weird reason)

And then... wait for it... this sentence 

"I am just out of a 10 year relationship and need to spend some time with someone that can make me forget her…Also going through final exams process right now and need to distress."

Great. I would just love to be your rebound girl. Thanks. 

Fourth response: Argentinean/Egyptian , 6'4"... then sadly, the pic is not my type.

The next 10 responses are all from men in their 40s. Too old for me! 

Here's a gem: 

"ive never done what youre looking for ,but i wouldnt be against trying it you could teach me, how to be specific with you"

This one confused me 

"It's not really so odd at all. I like being slapped in the face. And I look like such a quiet, good-natured kind of guy."  

Um... does he want me to respond to him, or does he just want to tell me what turns him on?

I also got a 30 line poem. I'm pretty sure Pablo Neruda wrote it though.

I got some pretty explicit stuff too. No cock pictures though. I really thought I would get some cock pictures. 

Here's a classic

 "No its not odd at all. Everyone has their thing in bedroom. Don't wanna talk about these thing very much but I have to tell you that I am open minded. Anything can happen between two people. And I mean two people. No third or fourth ones. If you can limit you open mindedness on this particular thing that means we have a base to start with"

Limit my openmindedness on threesomes and orgies. Hold on, I'll try to rein in my fantasies. What the hell? 

Looking for more...

After I came home from Ben's, I felt kind of strange. I like it when Ben spanks me, but I don't like how I pretty much just go over there for a spanking. I like it rough, but sometimes I like to be cuddled and treated like a good girl too. I really am looking for a relationship, not just an on going fuck buddy (or, as in Ben's case, a non-fuck buddy)

So I decided to put my own ad up on craigslist today, just to see what kind of response I would get. I had no idea how to start so I just threw something together:

Do you think this is Strange?

I'm 26, tall, cute, normal weight, intelligent, outgoing, charming and a little silly. In the past I have been approached in bars, clubs, or subway stations, and have even managed to go on dates with attractive men. So why am I posting on craigslist?

Its because I'm shy about one thing. I have a thing for being spanked. In my experience, not everyone thinks this is so amazing. I'm not usually so forward about this, but I'm sick of wasting my time dating people who aren't interested. That's not all there is to me, and thats not all I'm looking for, but I figured it was someplace to start. 

It is now up for 7 days. I am interested to see my responses.

#3- Date 2

Ohhhh dear, I really am a slut and deserve everything I get. 

So there we are. date #2. I guess now we've been on two dates I should call him by his name, Ben. So Ben and I meet up, and its not even two hours before we're back at his apartment. He's deadbolted the door and has me over his knee. I'm kicking and moaning and he's got me firmly by the hair with his left hand and spanking my ass with his right.

So we're at a bar getting a drink. Conversation is going well, his hand brushes my leg. Its 5:30, we've both just left work. At 6 he gets a phone call from his roommate. His roommate says he's still at work, and should be home in an hour and a half. Ben's hand slips up my leg and we make this hot eye contact. "So we'd have my apartment for the next bit, " he whispers, "and I think you've probably been a naughty girl today."

My ass starts to tingle and all I want is for him to bring me to his apartment and teach me a lesson. He finishes his beer, so I take mine in a gulp and stand up and walk out with him. 

We're sitting on his couch and he's rubbing my legs. Then he makes me tell him what I want him to do. I can barely speak. I'm so embarrassed. I am stuttering and nervous, and I don't know why. I whisper that I want him to force me over his knee, push my dress up, pull my panties down and give me a spanking. He's coaxing me along and telling me how hard I'm making him. 

"Then what?" he asks

but I can't even answer. I can't even think of how I want to answer.  I'm suddenly feeling so shy.

"Do you like sucking cock?"

"yes" I whisper with my eyes downcast.

"do you like it hard"

"yes. yes, and I like getting my hair pulled" Then he's got me over his knee, he starts spanking me over my panties. I'm trying to get more into it, but I'm still feeling a little odd about the whole thing. He's another one into being verbal. But he wants to hear all about my fantasies. He wants me to tell him all the naughty sexual things I've done. This is kind of weird though, I mean, why does he want to hear about me with other men? Does he really think I'm a slut or is he just saying it for fun?

So he's spanking me and demanding that I tell him all about what a slut I am. So I try to pull some old stories (because lets be honest, I'm really not getting that much action right now).

When he's finished punishing me I get on my knees and give him head. He's quite forcefully shoving his cock down my throat. Luckily I like it. Then we kind of collapse in mutual exhaustion on his couch, and I'm still feeling shy. I never feel shy! I am not a shy person, but I'm a little embarrassed about the whole thing, so I kind of run out of his apartment. He's all, "when are you free next" and I respond, "ummm I'm going out of town for a little bit. I'll be back in like 6 days. Give you a call when I'm back in New York?"

Bachelor 3- post date

Well, maybe I was wrong. I got an email from him a few hours later saying that he was really attracted to me and hoped I wanted to meet again.

I, of course, do.

Bachelor #3

So after a month of missing each other we finally met up for a drink today. The Verdict: Totally cute and nice.  Interesting also. He's someone I would definitely meet and be interested in dating. 

Now, I'm not so sure he was interested in me. He kept looking away when I was speaking.  What? Like I'm boring or something? Let me tell you, I am not. or at least I hope I'm not. We met really quickly, because I had to be home early. I told him he could call me. We'll see what happens.

Craigslist Bachelor #3

Okay, one more response to a craigslist ad. I got an email back. This one says he is 6'0" (and you can't THAT blatantly lie about height, so this one must be taller than me!), thin, brown hair, looking for more than a one night stand. Oh, and he attached a picture and looks totally cute.

 He likes books (I like books!), skiing (I love skiing!), and good restaurants (we are clearly getting married). One caveat- I disbelieve men who say they are looking for a long term relationship. I mean, how do you know? I thought everything was just short term unless you really liked the person. That's the problem with online dating I think- you are all of a sudden on a date, you don't get any time to figure out if you like the person, don't like the person or just like them as friends. I don't know  that I could seriously date someone on the interest. I WANT to, because, God knows, I'm not satisfied in the relationships with the men I just meet, so why not? If I already know that they can (and are willing to) sexually satisfy me, well, then I can just concentrate on getting to know them. I don't have to be all stressed about whether they think its weird I like to be spanked. I don't have to wait and wait and wait for the moment that I'm comfortable enough with my partner to be like "hey, it would be awesome if you dominated me when we have sex." 

You know, sometimes people you love say no, and then what the hell do you do? Do you stay with someone you love who leaves you sexually unsatisfied? Is it okay to break up with someone because they aren't as kinky as you?

I'm sick of not being sexually satisfied!

Craigslist Update

So as for the two guys I went on dates with- i realize I forgot to tell the ending.

Date #1 (the old dude). Definitely called me two days later. I didn't pick up. He asked if I wanted to get a drink on my message machine. I sent him an email saying I didn't think it would work out.

Date #2 (the lawyer). Never called. I know! I was totally shocked too! 

Seriously though, it made me feel kind of bad that he didn't call. I was sure he was going to. Oh well, like I said, I wasn't crazy attracted to him, and its bad to start dating someone you don't think is quite good enough for you. But still, did he not think that I was attractive? Was I too tall? I know its stupid to ask all these questions, but I can't stop myself.

I am considering putting up an ad on craigslist myself (in the not casual encounters section) so I can be the one who gets to choose.

Craigslist Casual Encounter Part 3: His Apartment

And so there we were in his apartment. He asked me how long I had been into spanking and I was like, "forever." He asked, "since you were a little girl?" and I nodded shyly. He looked so turned on that I felt almost a little uncomfortable. He told me that his exgirlfriend had been into it, and had been into him "making" her do things afterwards and looked expectantly at me as he slid his hand up my skirt. He leaned his mouth in like he was going to kiss me, but instead he started whispering in my ear, calling me a naughty girl and a dirty little slut. Now, I kind of thought someone I didn't know at all calling me a slut would be offensive, but it totally turned me on. After all, I was kind of being a slut!

 He started rubbing me all over and whispering more- it made me so hot. Then he pushed me over his knee and pulled off my tights and my panties.  When he started rubbing my ass I thought I was going to come. The whole time he kept whispering in my ear, calling me all sorts of embarrassing things, and I was so into it. I was bucking up and down, fighting back a little until he spanked and rubbed me into submission. When he was done with my ass, he pushed me onto my knees, stood up with his hand on his zipper, cocked his head to the side, and asked how I intended to apologize to him. I love sucking cock after a spanking. I especially love doing it on my knees in front of whoever just punished me. Its such a feeling of submission. 

I licked and sucked him while looking up and making eye contact, that drives men wild. Then he pulled me off the floor, bent me over his couch and spread my legs. He thrust his cock in me as I groaned. It had been awhile since I had sex, and he had such a big dick. He was tugging my hair and making my back arch. All while telling me how naughty and slutty I was. 

He was so verbal the whole time, I couldn't get over it. He talked the whole time he was spanking me, the whole time I was on my knees afterwards, and the whole time he had me bent over his couch (or his chair, or his bed...). And then afterwards he wanted to talk about it all again. That made him want to spank me again, so he pushed me over his knee. This time he pinned my arms to the small of my back. I still had my skirt on, since he'd wanted to fuck me while I was wearing it. He pushed it back up and made me count each time he slapped me. No one has ever done that before.  I came on number 8. It was fucking hot.

Him being so verbal  made me really verbal too. Maybe it was because he was so cute and after he punished me I really just did want to please him. Maybe its because I'm more into talking dirty then I thought. But wow, what a hot Monday night! Definitely the first time I've EVER come with someone who wasn't my boyfriend. (or exboyfriend haha)

Then at about 1 am I asked him to call a cab for me, he teased me and told me I was such a dude for coming and then running out. I looked at him and said, "listen, I'm not looking for a boyfriend, but if you want to do this again I would be really into it." 

He looked at me rather strangely and was like "well, you know, I just got out of this long relationship and I"m not looking for a girlfriend either" To myself, I thought, no shit, you were looking on the fucking casual encounters list!

So I continued, "seriously, I'm not, but this was really hot, and I'd like to do it again. I hope you would too." 

For me this would be perfect, someone who was attractive, normal, able to hold a conversation, and really dominate... and also, not going to kill me!

Now, to me this seems like the perfect situation for him, you have this cute girl, willing to come over to your house for you to spank and then do what you like with, am I wrong here?  

But when he looked back at me and said, "yeah, yeah I would like that" I could see in his eyes there was no way he was calling me - and yet he continued with the dirty talk until I got into the cab by myself.

Did I do something wrong? I mean, I know he was into it and I know he wanted me from the second we sat down in the bar. So why wouldn't he be into a casual occasional thing? 

Craigslist Casual Encounter: Part 2 the Meeting

I was late. Of course I was, I'm always late. I called when I was a block away and asked him to meet me outside. How awkward it would have been to walk into a bar and just walk up to someone hoping it was him. 

The whole way over on the bus I had just felt kind of numb. Was I really about to meet someone I didn't know and let them spank me. Really? That is just not me. But then at the same time there was this total rush associated with it. Like I had this secret life that no one knows about, that my friends would be SHOCKED to know about.

And what a relief. He was cute. He was SO cute. freckles (love them), dark hair, a nice smile and eyes. We sat down at the bar and I could barely make eye contact. I was so nervous. The first thing he wanted to talk about was the responses I got. So I told him. A lot of older guys (including one who introduced himself by telling me about his kids- WHO WERE OLDER THAN ME), a few cock pictures, and a surprising number of cute boys. Okay 3, but I was expecting none. He asked how many I had responded to, and I said only him. He didn't believe me, and I shrugged and told him I didn't really care. Then we talked about was music, as it turns out, we're both pretty interested in it and have similar tastes. We had a beer, the conversation flowed pretty easily. I know he wanted to take me back to his apartment right away, but I had to be comfortable.

His eyes were all over me. Especially on my legs. When men want something they get this cloudy look in their eyes. Its like desire clouds everything else in the world. So after a second drink, I told him I was convinced he wasn't a serial killer, and he invited me back to his apartment

Craigslist Casual Encounter: Part 1 The Posting

So after a few weeks of being a bit of a lurker on craigslist, I thought I might want to post in the casual encounters. I'd been talking to the few guys I mentioned earlier looking for more of a relationship. If you're starting a relationship with someone you need to wait a bit before you put out, but I needed a spanking and I needed it soon.

This afternoon I was so bored. I was so bored and craving some excitement. I checked out the casual encounters page, but quite frankly, the thought of answering an ad purely for sex made me feel dirty (and not in a good way). Plus, I was wary of making any sort of promise for sex to some guy I had never met. What if I showed up and he was ugly (it happened before)? What if I showed up and he was creepy? What if I felt pressured?

I thought to myself, I could post something. I wouldn't have to answer any of them if I didn't want to, and hey, they might turn me on a little.  So I posted. 

Want to spank a bad girl?

I was naughty girl at work all week, and hardly got anything done. Need  a lecture, over your knee, skirt pushed up, panties down. Interested? 26, cute, fit. pic for pic.

The responses started rolling in immediately. Craigslist had removed my ad within 30 minutes- maybe they thought I was a prostitute? ouch!- No matter, I still got about 23 responses. I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of cock pictures- I only got 3. Seriously though, do dudes really think we ladies go for that? you could have the biggest dick in the world, but if its not attached to a cute face/body its not going to happen.

My favorite response was from this thugged out dude that said "I'd spank dat ass girl." haha! not my type, but  valiant effort! Most of the guys were much older then me (I'd say between 38-45 and thats what they said in the email so who really knows?), but I was  surprised by the number of cute younger guys- there were 4 emails that I saved. What? where are these cute boys when I'm at a bar or a party?

I thought, what the hell, lets respond to the one I like the best. So I looked through them and one stood out- cute with a hot but not creepy response. It was  the only real full on face shot- so I could tell he didn't just choose a picture looking off to the side- I mean, anyone can look cute in a picture like that. So I wrote back. Over the next two hours we sent a few flirty emails back and forth. I told him I'd like to meet in public to make sure he was not a serial killer. He seemed to appreciate that.

We made a date for monday night. He had his own place, I have three nosey roommates and thin walls. I told myself I could back out if I wanted to.

Craigslist Date 2: The Lawyer

So I've been corresponding a bit with the guy who looked completely guido in his pictures.  He seemed totally nice and cool though, and I couldn't reconcile what he looked like with what he sounded like. So I agreed to meet him for a drink. Before the date I didn't want to meet him at all, but I convinced myself that I could leave after a drink.

We met in midtown for happy hour. I waited for him outside the bar, and he was late. I almost just left, because I hate waiting for people, but then he showed up and apologized. Ahhh, no chin strap beard! It was clearly just a poorly lit picture because even though he did have a beard it was not shaved into a line on his chin.

 Not my normal type, actually a bit short for me, but not unattractive. He did have a bit of a lisp though, but not too bad. 

We sat down and he got me a drink. He's a lawyer and was sort of take-charge in the way you think a lawyer would be. nice. I like a little (but not too much!) aggression. He had an interesting cadence when he spoke- a bit slower with unusual pauses. And he fascinated me. He had the most interesting stories about his clients.  We ended up staying for two drinks and three hours! We got along really well and there weren't any awkward pauses. As I left he told me he'd call me after he got back from his trip.

So yes, I wasn't crazy attracted to him at first, but he was so interesting  I would go out with him again. I went home and fantasized about what it might be like to be over his knee. I wondered how it works when you meet someone and you already know you share this interest.  With someone I just met it would take me a long time before I could broach the topic of spanking. With him, well, he already knows it. But that doesn't mean I want him to take me back to his apartment right away and throw me over his knee. Okay, I did kind of want that, but as I've always believed, if you actually are interested in someone you have to take it more slowly and establish something other than a purely physical connection.

So how long do you wait with someone you know wants to spank you? I would think that it would be a couple of dates. But then, I've also never been spanked and then not fucked the guy. So if it was like 4 dates, would that be sort of slutty? And what if on the second or third date we were kissing and he started rubbing my bottom and whispering that I had been bad. Would I be able to say no? even thinking about it is getting me hot as I type this. :) Spankings have been so few and far between in my life, I don't know that I could say no, even if saying no increased the likely hood that when it actually did happen it wouldn't be a one or two time thing.