New Years

I definitely meant to write this blog last week, but I guess it didn't happen.

So about six months ago I decided that I wanted a change in my life

As long as I can remember, even before it was a sexual thing to me, I wanted to be spanked and punished. When I turned 26 I realized how sexually frustrated I'd been. With the exception of the 4 months I dated Andy when I was 21, I've never had enough spankings.  Andy spanked me one time about 2 years after we broke up, and another guy I was dating briefly gave me a spanking in 2004. That's it. So for 4 months and two nights I was happy and satisfied- the rest of my life, not so much.

That had to change. All I did was start this blog and decide to be only the littlest bit more active in my search for a compatible partner. The results have been nothing short of astounding. By posting an ad in public with my real desires I found two people to spank me that I find (or found) attractive and it was way less awkward than I thought it would be.

The more amazing thing to me is the partners that I already knew. Just by being honest I found that  two men who I already had great friendships with and was attracted to were interested in spanking me (or, in Sean's case, interested enough to try). 

I'm so happy that I found the courage to make a real change in 2008.  I think pursuing this has given me so much confidence in myself. I really have stopped giving a damn about what others think and that is making me a more attractive person. I'm getting asked out so much more than I ever have before and the boost to my self esteem has been amazing. 

What I'm thinking about

I'm thinking about my two nights with Sean last week. About a couple things. First off, Sean has more sex than anyone I know. Seriously.  In high school and college he always always always had a new girlfriend. Then came of Senior year of college when he was hooking up with everyone. He was hooking up with my roommate. He was hooking up with my friend from studying abroad. He was trying really hard to hook up with my other roommate. 

Then after college, he's had one serious relationship and dated a million girls. The serious girlfriend was this girl named Margaret.  He told me that one thing he loved about Margaret was that she was always up for having sex and for letting him do whatever he wanted. 

After spending these two nights with him, doing "whatever he wants", he tells me its the hottest, dirtiest sex he's ever had. And the first time he's done a lot of things he's always wanted to do. Was he lying to me about Margaret? Or is he just as shy about his kinks as I am?

If Sean, the most openly sexual person I know, won't even talk with his partners about his real desires, how do people ever end up having kinky sex? I mean, I've read the internet. I know people are having this kind of sex, but how do they find each other?