Nate's Over...but Guess Who's Back???!?!?!

The beach was the last time I saw Nate, I kept getting text after text from him, but no invites to do anything. I started getting bored and stopped responding to the texts enthusiastically. So now, nothing.

James also panned out to be nothing. I got that email from him...and then nothing, nothing, nothing. I've been so busy at my new job I haven't had much time to think about dating.

And then yesterday, I had a message from Ben on Facebook. It said

I still think about you. I'd love to see you again if you're back in New York.

Now, Ben had emailed me once last year looking to hook up again. I gave him a pretty straight forward "NO WAY." There's actually more of a story than that. I had never told Ben my last name, or gave him my actual email address. He took a few things he knew about me, combined with my first name and googled until he came up with a picture and a name. It was from my college website for this award I won. Then he found me on facebook. Creepy? Flattering? To this day I don't know.

So I wrote back

I am back in New York. I moved back a few months ago. I'm flattered you're still interested, but we're not looking for the same thing.

What are you looking for?

More than what you want to give me.

I can give you more now. I feel badly about how things went between us.

You don't need to feel badly about how things went, so I hope that's not why you say that. I suppose if you ask me out, I would say yes. I'm too busy right now, maybe in October.

I can wait until then.

So that was unexpected. Seriously, we hooked up like 4 times over 2 years ago. I never even really had the impression he liked me very much.

One of my roommates in college once commented that every guy I dated always came back for more, like I was the one they never forgot. I won't say I'm like that to everyone I've slept with. A lot of them do tend to come back though. Maybe it's because I let them do whatever they want to me in bed?

Invite to Trivia

It's been an entire week since I heard from Nate.

I play trivia on Thursday nights, and Thursday afternoon we were one short for our trivia team. I don't know what made me do it, but I sent Nate a text asking if he would like to be our 5th. He responded right away and told me he definitely wanted to come. Then I ended up getting stuck at this work thing, and couldn't make it, so I ended up canceling. He told me the weather was looking nice for the weekend. I took that as a cue he wanted to go to the beach again, so I asked him if he would like to take me to the beach Saturday.

He did want to take me. Now I'm confused. But at least if we go to the beach, its not like we're just hooking up. He does want to hang out with me...but doesn't want to call? doesn't want to put in the effort? I'm just not sure what I think about the whole thing, and what he's thinking...

Frustration

First of all, JOB!!!!! I finally got a job offer, and I was even able to enter into negotiations and get myself an extra week of vacation and an earlier start to the benefits. I start next week! This is really great, because I currently have $800 to my name. I was going to have to get a waitressing job to make ends meet, and I really did not want that.

Second of all, I heard from Nate around 2 pm on Tuesday. I'm starting to think he is a classic pursuer/distancer. For example, after we had sex he was all, "I'm not into cuddling." I'm not really either, especially when I'm trying to fall asleep. So I responded, "Great!" and rolled over to the other side of the bed. Instantly, he was on top of me and suddenly all about the cuddles. Then, when I left his apartment without waking him up on Tuesday morning, he was probably like, "Why did she leave?" so I started getting texts right away.

He was basically texting me every few hours. He would send a text, and then I would respond, and eventually I would stop responding as soon as a text did not require a response. Then, a few hours later he would restart the conversation.

In one conversation I told him he had left me too sore and tired for my final run before my taper, so I had to move my schedule back a day. He texted back:

Then I'm sorry for fucking you

I responded

I don't believe that for a second!

He replied

You're right. I feel no remorse, and would like to do it again!

I wrote back

Here are some things you could do to make it happen again. A) Ask me out! B) Bonus points if you call rather than text

And then silence. Nothing. Now its Friday and I'm feeling like this is Ben all over again. Great, I'm good enough to fuck again, but not to go out with again? This actually made me feel really shitty. I don't know what to do. I do know that I'm looking for more than a fuck buddy situation and that I am not going to do the Ben thing again.

This Morning I Can't Sit Down

All weekend Nate was blowing up my phone. I went home for the weekend to spend time with my family, and he was sending flirty texts all weekend. I was careful to make sure he always sent the last text, and that he always sent the first one too. However, he never asked me about my schedule or if I wanted to meet up.

Monday I was on a pub crawl in his neighborhood, so with one, or two (or four) drinks in me I sent him a text asking if he wanted to join. He was at first slightly reluctant and said he might come, to which I replied

No Way. If you don't come in the next hour, no game! I'll be far too drunk and you too sober.

He came, just under an hour later. It wasn't 5 minutes before his hand was grabbing my knee and caressing my leg under the table. He proceeded to accompany us to the last three bars. At the last bar, around 8 pm, he told me he couldn't wait to make out with me in private and asked me to come home with him.

Okay. I knew I probably shouldn't have texted him when I was already drinking. I knew that I probably shouldn't sleep with him on our 3rd date. I did both.

We went back to his place and started making out on his couch. He put his hand up my skirt and found out I wasn't wearing any panties. I hadn't planned to not wear panties or text him, but I had been at the gym in the morning (my big half marathon is this upcoming weekend!), and had forgot to pack a pair!

I got a spanking for that. He spanked me really really hard. Way harder than Rob ever did. Way harder than Ben ever did. We fooled around for hours, and after a few hours we fucked. We did it in every position. He was also really into going down on me... and eating my ass. Is this something new people are doing? Johannes was really into it, this Austrian guy I took home with me was really into it, and now Nate? Before the last three people I've hooked up with, no had ever expressed any interest in it. Suddenly, boys cannot get enough of my ass.

He also slapped my face a few times, which is something Rob and I had played around with. I slapped him back, which is something I like. Also, he had a huge cock, which I was worried about. I mean, I was worried he would have a small one!

He couldn't seem to believe that boys were not into spanking me. He also seemed really into my eyes. Anyway, after we were finished I was trying to sleep, but he would not leave me alone.

In the morning I woke up early and was starving. He was still very asleep so I quietly left. In the morning I was kind of regretting jumping so quickly into bed with him. It felt like Ben all over again, like I was never going to hear from him again or he was only going to call me when he wanted to hook up.

I missed Johannes so much. I just wish he didn't live in a different hemisphere.

Is it Already Over?

I've never really dated two people at the same time before, so I was pretty excited about the last two weeks. However, I'm starting to think that neither one is going anywhere.

Nate and I shared our first kiss last Friday and I thought we had a great time at the beach. I haven't heard from him since, and now it's Wednesday so I get the feeling I'm not going to hear from him. I was really attracted to him so this is kind of a letdown.

I also haven't heard much from James. He sent me a bunch of emails after our date, but they kind of tapered off over the last week. I suggested we hang out sometime next week on Monday (the last time I heard from him), but no response. Again, its Wednesday.

ARGGGHHHH. How many girls are these guys seeing that want to be spanked? I mean, aren't guys supposed to stop calling AFTER you sleep with them? I forgot how frustrating dating is in this stupid city.

Beach!

The day after our date, Nate invited me to come to the beach with him. He has the summer off as a teacher and has been spending his days sunbathing and swimming in the ocean. I said yes, and he picked me up (in his car! Highroller!) and drove me.

We packed a picnic- I brought sandwiches and blackberries, he brought chips, sunflower seeds, and some beer. I was a little nervous about a beach date, because it involved basically stripping down to my underwear in front of someone I barely know, but who I think wants to sleep with me. I told myself I was looking pretty good in a bikini this summer, especially with all the running I've been doing.

So we've spread our stuff out on the beach. It's the moment of truth, and I take off my dress. And it feels awkward, almost like I am undressing for him. Then I realize: Holy Shit, I'm going to have to ask him to put sunscreen on my back. I sort of tersely ask "would you mind putting sunscreen on my back?"

Of course he doesn't mind, and then all of a sudden his hands are all over my back, and massaging the sunscreen in. He seems especially interested in smoothing the sunscreen around my waist. Okay I think, relieved, He seems interested enough in my body even though I'm not wearing anything. It's weird- I'm never nervous taking my clothes off in private, because I think I have a pretty great body. However, I don't really have a "skinny bikini body" meaning that my stomach is not terribly flat. I've got amazing breasts (or so I've been told) and an hour glass shape, but my stomach itself is more rounded. I've never had a guy approach me and hit on me while I'm in a bathing suit.

We were laying on the beach, reading our books. I was reading "Disgrace" by JM Coetze. I didn't really realize that it was about a man who witnesses his daughters rape. Not exactly a beach read! It was pretty intense, and I wasn't really getting into it in that setting, so I put it down for awhile. Nate seemed pretty into his book, moreso than he was into me. Again! His supposed disinterest was turning me on.

Then, all of a sudden, Nate's hand is on my chin and he pulls my face into his and kisses me. It was nice! We kissed for a few seconds and then I was all shy about it. We ended up kissing more on the blanket, and we went into the water together and he was all over me. We were play wrestling in the water and he was rubbing my back afterwards while we were laying on the beach.

Then he drove me home, and kept kissing me at every stoplight. He dropped me off at my door and told me we should do it again. I was pretty excited by the whole thing. He's really cute!

Coffee with a Genius?

I have NEVER said this about anyone before, but I think Nate might be too smart for me. We met up earlier today, and he was quite handsome- more handsome than I was expecting from the picture he sent. I was expecting him to be more gangly, because he looked super skinny in the photos.

We had a really nice conversation, and hung out for about two hours. I'm pretty smart- I went to a great college, I'm fairly witty in conversation, I know a lot of random trivia, I'm well traveled, well read and the recipient of a fairly prestigious international scholarship. He went to an ivy league, and despite having a humanities major he "dabbled" in graduate level math and physics. It was just a feeling I got while talking to him- not that I couldn't keep up, but just that I wasn't quite on his intellectual level. He wasn't even obnoxious about it, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

I had trouble reading whether or not he was interested, until he offered to walk me to my train and found an excuse to briefly touch me on my arm. Then I was like (to myself, not outloud) "ohhhh, you ARE interested."

There must be something about people I can't read that intrigues me, because I seemingly continue to date them. Its like, I get overly sexually attracted to people when I don't know if they're interested. I always want what I can't have!

I left my date quite interested in Nate. Apparently, he did too because I got some funny text from him a few hours later, and we texted a little back and forth over the evening. Then he texted this:

Next time we go somewhere for a drink so I can grill you about your, ahem, "interest."

I was so turned on when I got this text, I wanted to immediately be like, "ask away!" Then I remembered Ben, and I decided I should hold off awhile if I actually want to date him and not just get spankings from him.

Haha it's actually something I'm quite shy about so you're either going to have to get me wasted or (preferably) wait to get to know me a little better.

He responded

I guess that's reasonable

Again, now I am in the mode where I'm like "well, I hope he doesn't take that as a sign of disinterest." Its funny how I am like that- I wanted to please him with my answers, but if I'm not 100% percent comfortable then of course I shouldn't. I have to remember my mother's advice that you should never show your cards up front, and you have to preserve a little mystery because that is what men like. My mother's advice isn't terribly "PC" but it certainly works!

Wednesday Updates

Craigslist Bachelor #2 (Nate) finally asked me out, we're meeting tomorrow for coffee. I'm pretty excited about a day date possibility (He is a teacher, so he's also free during the day in the summer).

James emailed me the day after our date with some links that had related to our conversation the night before. So I think I will take that as a sign of interest! He seems slightly shy, and quite gentlemanly. I hope he isn't a gentleman forever and will take steps to make sure we end up kissing on our next date!

Date #2: The Teacher

I also wrote back to another guy who had responded to my craigslist ad. He is tall (6'1") and a school teacher. This may sound strange, but the thing I liked about his response was that he is a really good writer.

We've been writing back and forth for about a week now, but he hasn't asked me on a date yet. On principle I refuse to ask men out. I'm hoping he gets his act together and justs asks, because he sounds pretty interesting. I also have some pretty serious teacher-student fantasies.