First Spankfinder Date

After putting a profile up on spankfinder, even without a picture, I was messaged/winked at/"hotlisted" by pretty much every guy in the NYC area. Out of curiosity, I searched for other women in my age range in the area, and only about 4 or 5 other profiles popped up.

I feel like every guy I met off of craigslist thought of me as "that slut off craigslist." Okay, I'm probably paranoid and maybe judging myself a little, but that was how I was feeling. So I didn't respond to anyone that said anything remotely sexual.

So I started talking to two guys. One is 29 and from the midwest, like me. The other is 35 and from France. 35 year old has pictures up and looks hot.

29 year old guy asked me on a date, so last night we met for happy hour at a bar in the east village. He was quite cute and a banker. He lives in a studio in the area and was very cute. The one thing was, he looked a little like Lily's exboyfriend. While I really liked her ex, it would be a little weird to date someone who looked like him.

He said he had pretty much given up on finding someone on the website, but we seemed to really hit it off. After a drink or two he told me he was going to definitely kiss me goodnight. He wanted to talk more about spanking, but I tried to hold off a little. What we did have in common was the struggle with telling people we are dating.

He kissed me, and then walked me to the subway station. On the way, he pulled me onto a park bench and we kissed more.

I'm really excited about this.

Up to His Old Tricks?

So, as it turns out Ben is not actually looking for much more than we had before. We had lunch, finally this week. He was funnier than I remembered, taller than I remembered too. However, his hair was a mess. I wanted to have a hair intervention. He just got out of a 7 year relationship (on and off, off while we were "seeing each other"), and ex sounds batshit crazy. seriously crazy. Anyway, when I got back to my office I started getting gchats about how he couldn't stop thinking of the time we spent together, but wanted to be my friend with benefits. He did emphasize the "Friend" part and said that he thought it would be much hotter if we had a real friendship.

I was kind of like "friend with benefits sounds like casually dating to me, except you don't pay for my drinks" which he found funny.

I think he's being kind of a slut now that he's single. I don't want to be a rebound. I"m totally intrigued and wanting a spanking.

Spankfinder.com

Well, what is this? A FREE dating site for people into spanking? YES PLEASE.

I put a profile up. No picture, because what if one of my father's friends is also into spanking, and has a preference for 28 year old girls?

And, to whoever made this site. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Nate's Over...but Guess Who's Back???!?!?!

The beach was the last time I saw Nate, I kept getting text after text from him, but no invites to do anything. I started getting bored and stopped responding to the texts enthusiastically. So now, nothing.

James also panned out to be nothing. I got that email from him...and then nothing, nothing, nothing. I've been so busy at my new job I haven't had much time to think about dating.

And then yesterday, I had a message from Ben on Facebook. It said

I still think about you. I'd love to see you again if you're back in New York.

Now, Ben had emailed me once last year looking to hook up again. I gave him a pretty straight forward "NO WAY." There's actually more of a story than that. I had never told Ben my last name, or gave him my actual email address. He took a few things he knew about me, combined with my first name and googled until he came up with a picture and a name. It was from my college website for this award I won. Then he found me on facebook. Creepy? Flattering? To this day I don't know.

So I wrote back

I am back in New York. I moved back a few months ago. I'm flattered you're still interested, but we're not looking for the same thing.

What are you looking for?

More than what you want to give me.

I can give you more now. I feel badly about how things went between us.

You don't need to feel badly about how things went, so I hope that's not why you say that. I suppose if you ask me out, I would say yes. I'm too busy right now, maybe in October.

I can wait until then.

So that was unexpected. Seriously, we hooked up like 4 times over 2 years ago. I never even really had the impression he liked me very much.

One of my roommates in college once commented that every guy I dated always came back for more, like I was the one they never forgot. I won't say I'm like that to everyone I've slept with. A lot of them do tend to come back though. Maybe it's because I let them do whatever they want to me in bed?

Saturday at the Beach

I think it was the last beach day of the summer! Nate starts teaching Tuesday, I'm back in the swing of things at my new job...

He picked me up at 11 and we headed to the beach. Swimming/making out while swimming/tanning/making out while tanning/reading/picnic. It was a great day. He also opened up a little more, and was way more talkative than our first day at the beach. He actually told me that he doesn't like talking on the phone, because he always thinks he is interrupting people. I don't know if that was a reference to what I had texted him last wednesday, but I didn't push the point, figuring I could always bring it up later.

Around 4 he told me he was eager to get me home, so we went back to his place and showered together. Johannes wasn't into showering together, but it's something I kind of enjoy. Nate was soaping me up and washing my hair, it was pretty sexy. Then he threw me down on his bed and we started going at it.

Invite to Trivia

It's been an entire week since I heard from Nate.

I play trivia on Thursday nights, and Thursday afternoon we were one short for our trivia team. I don't know what made me do it, but I sent Nate a text asking if he would like to be our 5th. He responded right away and told me he definitely wanted to come. Then I ended up getting stuck at this work thing, and couldn't make it, so I ended up canceling. He told me the weather was looking nice for the weekend. I took that as a cue he wanted to go to the beach again, so I asked him if he would like to take me to the beach Saturday.

He did want to take me. Now I'm confused. But at least if we go to the beach, its not like we're just hooking up. He does want to hang out with me...but doesn't want to call? doesn't want to put in the effort? I'm just not sure what I think about the whole thing, and what he's thinking...

... an email from James?

I just got an email from James, who I hadn't heard from since just after our dinner date a few weeks ago. It said,

Hows the job hunt? Sorry I disappeared, I've been really busy at work, and traveling every weekend! I'm actually in Indiana for the next 12 days...

-James

We haven't even kissed yet, so despite the fact I haven't heard from him for 16 days (according to my gmail stamps) I'm willing to give him a second chance. Also, his company is going through some big changes right now and is all over the news, so he's not even lying. I crafted a response, but of course I'm not going to send it for a few days to make him wait, haha.

Hey James,

I actually got a job offer last week, and start my new job Monday! I hope you are enjoying being at home, I was home a few weeks ago and it was really nice. Why don't you let me know when you have some free time again, or if you're hiking anytime soon I would love to join. I forgot how being in the city make me feel disconnected from nature. (yes, thats the most earth-child thing I've written in awhile)

-Rose

Frustration

First of all, JOB!!!!! I finally got a job offer, and I was even able to enter into negotiations and get myself an extra week of vacation and an earlier start to the benefits. I start next week! This is really great, because I currently have $800 to my name. I was going to have to get a waitressing job to make ends meet, and I really did not want that.

Second of all, I heard from Nate around 2 pm on Tuesday. I'm starting to think he is a classic pursuer/distancer. For example, after we had sex he was all, "I'm not into cuddling." I'm not really either, especially when I'm trying to fall asleep. So I responded, "Great!" and rolled over to the other side of the bed. Instantly, he was on top of me and suddenly all about the cuddles. Then, when I left his apartment without waking him up on Tuesday morning, he was probably like, "Why did she leave?" so I started getting texts right away.

He was basically texting me every few hours. He would send a text, and then I would respond, and eventually I would stop responding as soon as a text did not require a response. Then, a few hours later he would restart the conversation.

In one conversation I told him he had left me too sore and tired for my final run before my taper, so I had to move my schedule back a day. He texted back:

Then I'm sorry for fucking you

I responded

I don't believe that for a second!

He replied

You're right. I feel no remorse, and would like to do it again!

I wrote back

Here are some things you could do to make it happen again. A) Ask me out! B) Bonus points if you call rather than text

And then silence. Nothing. Now its Friday and I'm feeling like this is Ben all over again. Great, I'm good enough to fuck again, but not to go out with again? This actually made me feel really shitty. I don't know what to do. I do know that I'm looking for more than a fuck buddy situation and that I am not going to do the Ben thing again.

This Morning I Can't Sit Down

All weekend Nate was blowing up my phone. I went home for the weekend to spend time with my family, and he was sending flirty texts all weekend. I was careful to make sure he always sent the last text, and that he always sent the first one too. However, he never asked me about my schedule or if I wanted to meet up.

Monday I was on a pub crawl in his neighborhood, so with one, or two (or four) drinks in me I sent him a text asking if he wanted to join. He was at first slightly reluctant and said he might come, to which I replied

No Way. If you don't come in the next hour, no game! I'll be far too drunk and you too sober.

He came, just under an hour later. It wasn't 5 minutes before his hand was grabbing my knee and caressing my leg under the table. He proceeded to accompany us to the last three bars. At the last bar, around 8 pm, he told me he couldn't wait to make out with me in private and asked me to come home with him.

Okay. I knew I probably shouldn't have texted him when I was already drinking. I knew that I probably shouldn't sleep with him on our 3rd date. I did both.

We went back to his place and started making out on his couch. He put his hand up my skirt and found out I wasn't wearing any panties. I hadn't planned to not wear panties or text him, but I had been at the gym in the morning (my big half marathon is this upcoming weekend!), and had forgot to pack a pair!

I got a spanking for that. He spanked me really really hard. Way harder than Rob ever did. Way harder than Ben ever did. We fooled around for hours, and after a few hours we fucked. We did it in every position. He was also really into going down on me... and eating my ass. Is this something new people are doing? Johannes was really into it, this Austrian guy I took home with me was really into it, and now Nate? Before the last three people I've hooked up with, no had ever expressed any interest in it. Suddenly, boys cannot get enough of my ass.

He also slapped my face a few times, which is something Rob and I had played around with. I slapped him back, which is something I like. Also, he had a huge cock, which I was worried about. I mean, I was worried he would have a small one!

He couldn't seem to believe that boys were not into spanking me. He also seemed really into my eyes. Anyway, after we were finished I was trying to sleep, but he would not leave me alone.

In the morning I woke up early and was starving. He was still very asleep so I quietly left. In the morning I was kind of regretting jumping so quickly into bed with him. It felt like Ben all over again, like I was never going to hear from him again or he was only going to call me when he wanted to hook up.

I missed Johannes so much. I just wish he didn't live in a different hemisphere.

Is it Already Over?

I've never really dated two people at the same time before, so I was pretty excited about the last two weeks. However, I'm starting to think that neither one is going anywhere.

Nate and I shared our first kiss last Friday and I thought we had a great time at the beach. I haven't heard from him since, and now it's Wednesday so I get the feeling I'm not going to hear from him. I was really attracted to him so this is kind of a letdown.

I also haven't heard much from James. He sent me a bunch of emails after our date, but they kind of tapered off over the last week. I suggested we hang out sometime next week on Monday (the last time I heard from him), but no response. Again, its Wednesday.

ARGGGHHHH. How many girls are these guys seeing that want to be spanked? I mean, aren't guys supposed to stop calling AFTER you sleep with them? I forgot how frustrating dating is in this stupid city.